Questions about LOVE

So this past weekend we decided to cancel the chili cook-off. I started to hear negative thoughts in my head. Self-doubt. Insecurity. The thoughts said, "People don't really love you." "People say they care, but they don't." "You don't have enough friends." And I started to pull away. I wore the same sweatshirt three days in a row. I wanted to crawl in bed and stay there. I didn't want to talk to anybody. 

And then God whispered softly and tenderly in my ear. "I LOVE you Jodi. And do you remember what people have done for you? Remember the people who have given. Remember the people who have prayed. Remember the people who have asked about Josiah." And I did remember and my heart was so full, it felt like it would burst. Because God's love is the only love. His love flows through others and into us. We love because He first loved us.

Do you know that last week we had a document wrong at the consulate? So last minute, we had to get a new one and resend it. Do you know what my FRIEND did? She dropped everything and waited a ridiculously long time at the bank to get something notarized. And then she drove all the way to Grand Rapids to meet me at the Secretary of State. And then she let my kids sit in her van and watch a movie while I went in to get our state seal. LOVED.

And did you know that the courier fee for that one document was $60? And did you know that THAT DAY, two STRANGERS gave on our YouCaring page? Guess how much their gifts totaled? $60. LOVED.

After that, we got a fairly significant donation from another stranger - a neighbor of my cousin's. 
LOVED.

And then this weekend, a friend that I grew up in church with brought clothes from a stranger in KANSAS for Josiah.
LOVED.

How could I doubt? How could I ever doubt God's love for me? Why would I want to crawl in bed for days and miss God's working in my life? I don't! I won't! And I KNOW God will provide. Chili cook-off or no chili cook-off, He is waiting to show His love. He is waiting to provide the exact amount of money exactly when we need it.

So, stay with me and WATCH. WATCH and see what GOD is going to do. It's going to be awesome, amazing, cRaZy, and probably a little stressful. And good, so so good.