Tears and Panda Pajamas

Last night I happened upon a notice of a children's used clothing/toys/etc. sale at a nearby church. It started at 9:00, so that's when I showed up. Me and a bazillion other crazy shoppers all ready with their large tote bags and frenzied looks on their faces. I was not prepared for that kind of sale. I had 2 things I was looking for: winter coats for both kids and 2 pair of size 24-month pajamas for Luyana. The doors opened and since you can't push and shove and stampede in church, everyone fast-paced walked while side-glancing their neighbor to make sure they weren't being out-paced. I decided my best bet was to go straight for the girls' size 24-month section. Yeah, me and Grabby McGrabberson who stepped right in front of me and yoink, yoink, yoink grabbed every single pair of size 24-month pajamas. So it's gonna be like that, huh? In church? I went to the coats, found 2 great coats for $7 each. After leaving the coat section I let my eyes dart toward Ms. Grabberson and noticed that neither of us had realized the 24-month size clothes wrapped around to the other side of the clothes rack. And hanging there, within arms reach of me were 2 size 24-month pajamas with PANDAS on them. I cried and grabbed them and cried some more. Why, Jodi, did you cry over 2 pair of used $2 panda pajamas? Because, dear reader, I've been scouring the world for panda things, especially pajamas. They are so cute and Asian (and I'm extremely cheap, so full-priced things just aren't an option for me). I instantly felt God nudging me to trust Him. But God, do you really care about cheap panda pajamas? No, I don't think He does. But I do think He cares about me and knows how much that little gesture meant. It's another reminder that our family is not forgotten in this process. While He is still answering with "wait" for our request for our LOA (Letter of Acceptance), he is showing us in different ways that He is working on it; He is not done yet. This story is still unfolding and while we're in the midst of this waiting, He is working.

So basically, if you see me and I'm crying, please do not be alarmed. The deeper we get into this adoption process, the less control I have over my emotions. Every kind gesture and God-sighting leaves me wiping tears and snot and apologizing to those around me.

Yesterday, I watched the two young children of a couple that Mark and I are friends with. The husband is an artist and as a thank you for watching the girls (which, by the way, did not need a thank you...they are ridiculously adorable!) he drew this for us. I felt bad for crying and for barely looking at it when it was presented to me, but this was so amazing and unexpected and beautiful. The Chinese character in the corner means "to hope, watch, expect, look towards". It's my new favorite thing to stare at.

Also this week, I went to dinner with my good friend Jen. She had read my post about Luyana's birthday and how I had mentioned I was going to look for a doll cradle for Christmas. When I showed up at her house, she gave me this! If I remember correctly, I don't think I full-out cried. Maybe just a little wetness that I was able to blink back when she wasn't looking. Anyway, I LOVE it and it was so kind of her to give it to me. (Especially when she is expecting her own little pink precious bundle next month!)

So another week passed with no LOA, but during this week I saw new pictures of our precious girl, received extremely thoughtful gifts from wonderful people, and was reminded that God is still working even though we are still waiting. Let's see what He does next week.