Orphanage Visit

Today was not my favorite day so far. Today we visited Luyana's orphanage. She was in a good orphanage, but an orphanage is an orphanage. I just felt uncomfortable. I didn't want to confuse Luyana by being there and I worried about the all the people grabbing at her to hold her. Seeing so many babies lying in cribs made me feel like I was barely even making a dent in the problem and that was overwhelming. But before all that, we had breakfast, which I'm certain is one of Luyana's favorite parts of the day. When she sees me coming with her plate of food, she gets giddy with excitement and starts bouncing up and down.

 

When we arrived at the orphanage, the sign welcomed Luyana back to visit: I can't remember what exactly they told me it said!

 

 

Here is the room where she slept:

 

 



One last walk around the playroom until she was descended upon by a gaggle of adoring nannies:

 

 

And here they are:

 

 

They fed us a meal, which was superbly awkward. I keep analyzing it to try to figure out why it was so awkward. Was it because the orphanage director made eye contact with me maybe once? Or because Mark and I were the only ones to ever initiate talk? Or maybe it was because they kept shoving food in Luyana's mouth that I knew she didn't want to eat? Probably all of those things and honestly, I just wanted to get out there as fast as possible and get back to our hotel room.

 

This is the worst part. As we were getting ready to leave, someone told Luyana to say "goodbye". She looked at Mark and I and waved bye bye. Break. My. Heart. They handed her back to us and she cried a little, but then quickly held it together. It was then I realized that we really don't mean much to her yet, which makes sense since she has had a fairly steady stream of caregivers in her short life. She doesn't understand that this is forever and I don't know when she will. While she is a cute, funny, bubbly, and smart little girl, she also is displaying several institutional behaviors that just hurt to observe. And when we try to hug her, she will stiffen up and she will stick her arms straight out at her side. This isn't really a surprise to us, we knew this is what happens when you adopt a child from an orphanage. But now it is very personal and I don't like seeing the results of institutional care on a child, MY child, at all. Anyway, we know we have a lot of hard work ahead of us. Thank you all for your prayers...we feel them every day! 

 

And because I don't want to end on a depressing note, especially on Christmas, here is Luyana's other favorite part of the day...lotion time! The girl would put lotion on all day if you let her!